


Who We Are and Who We Were

by cloakoflevitation



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Jokes, No Beta - We Fall Like Crowley, Post-Episode: Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-08-20 04:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20222164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloakoflevitation/pseuds/cloakoflevitation
Summary: This is set immediately after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts. It's centered around everyone dealing with the fact that Virgil used to be a 'dark' side.This started out as a lil fluffy drabble and somehow grew a plot. Lots of feelings and funny moments. Some angst but everything turns out okay!5/7/2020 EDIT: chapter 4 (the ending) has been changed some***Warnings: swearing





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fandamkeki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandamkeki/gifts).
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @fandamkeki, you left a sweet comment on my other sanders sides fic so I gifted this one to you! I hope you don't mind! <3

* * *

As if the day hadn’t been stressful enough already, Virgil heard footsteps outside his door. He desperately hoped whoever it was continued walking down the hall, but when his door was flung open, he was hardly surprised. When it rained, it poured.

“Well, that could have gone _ worse _ I suppose…” Deceit grumbled, not bothering with a greeting, carrying on as if they were having a conversation already, before he paused and peered into the dark room. “...Virgil?”

Virgil made no attempts to sit up or dislodge himself from where he was buried under blankets on his bed.

Deceit seemed to hover in the doorway, but Virgil couldn’t be sure. It was difficult to make out his expression in the dark with the light of the hallway streaming in behind him, silhouetting him. After a moment, he closed the door and came to sit on the edge of the bed.

Virgil made disapproving noises as the bed shifted from his weight, but he was ignored. Deceit crossed his legs underneath himself. “What is it.”

It only took Virgil a moment to give in. “I told him.” He pushed himself up so he was sitting. “I told Thomas that I used to be… you know.”

“A _ dark _ side.” Pointed distaste curled around the word, but Deceit pressed on, “Surely he knew already?” The disbelief was clear in his voice.

“That’s just it!” Virgil moaned. “He _ didn’t _ know! I thought he probably suspected, and I thought he deserved that I tell him but… he didn’t know.” Tears slowly filled his eyes, but he was determined not to cry. “The look on his face… he was… he was surprised and afraid and upset and…” He cut himself off, unable to keep going down that direction. Taking in a steadying breath, he quietly admitted, “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Do?” Deceit repeated. “You’ll do nothing. You won’t do anything different. Now he knows. So what? You still have a job to do. He’ll adjust. They all will.”

“It took them all so long to trust me. And to be honest, I still don’t know if they fully do. And now… it’ll be like _ before _ all over again.”

A hand brushed the top of his head, so quick and light he wasn’t certain he had actually felt it.

Deceit sighed. For several long minutes the only sound in the room was the sound of them breathing. Then Deceit stood up from the bed. “I won’t say I told you so.” The words were teasing, but the tone was all wrong. Virgil heard the worry layered in his voice, hidden behind the attempt at humor and normalcy. He couldn’t help but be a little grateful.

“You just did.”

“Well I _ did _ tell you so.”

They were both quiet again. It was late and dark in the room, so it was easy to drift in and out of reality, each slightly lost in their own thoughts. At some point Deceit cleared his throat. “If you need anything…” He trailed off, either hesitating or unwilling to say exactly what he meant, but Virgil understood the offer regardless.

Virgil offered him a small smile, only realizing after Deceit had left that he hadn’t been able to see it in the dark.

*

When he finally managed to drag himself out of bed the next day, Patton, Logan, and Roman were in the kitchen. From the length of the shadows, it seemed like it was evening already. 

He couldn’t muster up the energy to be bothered that he had slept most of the day.

“How nice of you to grace us with your presence, Snow White Queen,” [1] Roman quipped. Logan looked up from his mug and offered him a small nod. 

He walked past them into the kitchen, only to have Patton usher him back to the table and into a chair. Virgil huffed, but stayed put.

Patton shuffled around the kitchen, and after a few moments, came back with a plate of food and a steaming cup of something that smelled floral and quite frankly, disgusting. Virgil arched an eyebrow, and Patton beamed. “It’s peppermint tea. I have some chamomile too, if you want more.”

Virgil was quite certain he would not want more, but he didn’t say so. He murmured his thanks. The conversation of the others washed over him as he ate and gingerly sipped at the tea. Their banter was calming and familiar, and he suddenly found himself grateful that Patton and Roman were as talkative as they were. He wanted to hold on to the warmth in the kitchen, to bottle it up and keep it forever.

No one said anything about the fact that he was once a ‘dark’ side, one of the others, or about the fact that he had told Thomas. Maybe, he thought,_ hoped, _ maybe they would just let the subject lie. Maybe they could all keep pretending that everything was okay and that nothing had changed.

He didn’t know why no one mentioned it. He desperately wanted someone to say something, anything, but he hated the thought of being cast out. And that’s what would happen if they said something. They would make him leave, make him go back. He’d be the villain again, and Thomas wouldn’t listen to him. He’d have to be mean and scary again and all the softer, warmer things he had come to love would be gone.

Logan stood up and abruptly took Virgil’s mug with him as he went. Virgil watched, confused, until Logan came back with both their mugs in his hands, full of tea again.

The edges of his mouth quirked up in a quick smile, despite the fact that he didn’t really want the tea. He would miss this, would miss the others, when the dam broke and they finally gave up pretending. When they decided he couldn’t be trusted. When they realized he didn’t belong here with them.

Logan leaned over towards him, keeping an eye on the other two as he did, and asked in a low voice, “Are you alright?”

He tried to pull himself from his thoughts. He needed to act normal, to keep pretending everything was okay. The charade didn’t work if he didn’t play along. “Fine.” When Logan didn’t look convinced, Virgil qualified with a roll of his eyes, “I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll let me know if you need anything.”

Something soft fluttered in Virgil’s chest, and for a fleeting second he wanted to doing something wild like hug Logan. He refrained. “You’re the second person to say that to me in the last day.”

Logan raised his eyebrows but said nothing more on the subject, turning back towards the others. Roman was finishing recounting an adventure in the Imagination. When he fell quiet, Patton clapped his hands together. “Alright. What’s everyone doing today?”

Before anyone could really say anything, Roman sat up with excitement and hit his palms on the table. Virgil flinched. Roman winced slightly in apology and plunged ahead. “I need some input on some video ideas, when you’ve all got a chance.”

Patton was still smiling as he watched Roman’s excitement. “I’m not doing anything now.”

Logan glanced between the two of them and then said, “I’m available.”

“Well… I’ll just…” Virgil mumbled his leave as he pushed his chair back and stood from the table.

“Hey!” Roman objected with a funny shake of his head. “Where are you going, Basket Case?” [2]

He hunched his shoulders, wishing the floor would swallow him whole. “Upstairs.”

“Is now inconvenient for you?” Logan was looking at him with a calculating expression.

“No… it’s…” Virgil looked between the three of them, seeing only confusion and tinges of concern. _ Oh god. _ “Didn’t…” he asked helplessly, “Didn’t he tell you?”

“Well kiddo, we wouldn’t be asking if we knew what was going on.” From either of the other two sides it might have sounded condescending, but Patton always landed closer to teasing than patronizing. 

He took in a deep breath and ducked his head, resolutely not meeting anyone’s gazes. “I told him.” He waited a fraction of a second before he couldn’t help but look at the others. They still looked confused, so he painfully elaborated, “I told Thomas I used to be a… a _ dark _ side.”

A shocked gasp came from Patton, eyes wide, his mouth slightly open. If asked to name the expression, Virgil would have called it horror. _ “What?” _

His face fell. “You didn’t know?” He dragged his gaze from Patton to Logan to Roman, desperation slowly clawing its way up his throat. Logan looked vaguely grim, and Roman seemed upset. Virgil couldn’t quite parse out if it was the angry sort of upset or the sad sort of upset or something entirely different altogether. “None of you knew?” He searched their faces for - for what he didn’t know - but he needed something. The world felt like it had fallen out from under his feet. He wasn’t sure he was breathing.

“I knew.” Patton looked at Logan in alarm. Logan tilted his head back and forth, correcting himself, “Well, I lacked confirmation until now, but I drew conclusions. I was reasonably sure.”

“And you never said anything?” Patton demanded shrilly, and Virgil vainly tried not to let the words sting.

“I actually knew.” All three of the others turned to Roman, shocked by not only his words, but the quietness of the admission. Roman smiled a tiny sardonic smile at them. “My brother is a dark side after all. We don’t talk much but…” He pressed his lips together and sighed, not meeting their eyes. “I knew.”

“Now. Well.” Patton stammered out his words, looking as though he had seen a spider or perhaps swallowed one. “The - it - _ dark sides _ -”

“Other.” They all turned to look at him, and Virgil realized he had spoken out loud. He hadn’t meant to correct him. He rushed to explain, “We - they -” He blew out a frustrated breath that disturbed his bangs. “They’re not _ dark _ sides. They’re just… other.”

“Why does it matter -”

“Because we’re not evil!” Virgil snapped back, taking all of them by surprise. “Sorry,” he murmured, running a hand across his face, forcing his voice to a quieter volume. “It’s just… they’re not evil. They’re just different. _ Other.”_ He sighed again, suddenly emotionally exhausted. “It’s not fair to always make them out as villians.”

Roman opened his mouth, and everyone heard what he stopped himself from saying. _ But they are. _

Logan was giving him that look again, and Virgil knew he had screwed up. The pronouns had tripped him up, and Logan had clearly picked up on it. _ We. They. _ Was he one of the Others? Did he need to include himself with them? He hadn’t thought he was one of them, not anymore, but with Thomas finding out and now Patton and Logan and Roman… He just didn’t know.

Virgil pulled the ends of his sleeves over his hands, grabbing fistfuls of the material. He needed out. He needed to end this, preferably before it got any worse. “Anyways. Thomas won’t want me in the video so I don’t really need to be here for this.”

Logan caught his arm before he could move. His face held an intensity that kept Virgil firmly in place. “The fact of who you were changes nothing.”

“This changes _ everything.”_ Patton’s lip wobbled, and he abruptly sank out.

Virgil’s eyes widened, a horrible sinking feeling flooding his lungs and he was sure he was drowning. He disappeared just as suddenly as Patton.

*

Roman gave Logan a worried look. “This is… bad. This is very bad.”

“If this isn’t addressed soon,” Logan responded slowly, “The effects could snowball, figuratively. I recommend we take a course of action rather than waiting for them to act.”

Roman, who normally looked so sure, did not wear timidity and nervousness very well. “What do we do?”

“One of us needs to speak with Virgil. One of us should… explain the situation to Patton. We need to make sure he is aware of all the facts.” Logan hoped that was all this was, anyway. It hadn’t escaped his notice that Patton seemed particularly upset. Of all the three of them, Patton had always been the one most active in his efforts to welcome Virgil. But now… Logan hoped it was simply a knee jerk reaction, that Patton had been startled and felt betrayed but he would soon realize the reality of the situation. That Virgil was one of them. That this new realization ultimately changed nothing about their current circumstances. That they still needed Virgil, just as they needed all the sides, and that things went better when they worked together and each side was listened to.

He studied Roman for a minute, taking in his eyes, slightly too wide, and the fragility he had adopted. He looked thoroughly shaken. “You should go to Virgil.”

Roman’s face quivered, and for a brief second Logan was terrified he would start crying. “Are you sure? I mean - will he want to see _ me?” _

Logan resisted the urge to rub his temples because he knew Roman would take the gesture the wrong way. Emotions truly were the bane of his existence. It seemed every single one of their problems could be traced back to an emotional cause.

Gently, he laid a hand on Roman’s arm. The prince’s shoulders sagged, and he let out a shuddering breath. _ “Logan...” _ His voice was an emotional wreck.

“Go speak with Virgil.” He gave Roman a nudge towards the stairs and then pulled his hand back. “He needs someone, and I think perhaps you need to speak with him.”

Roman nodded. He cleared his throat. “Yes. Yes, of course.” He straightened his spine and pulled his shoulders back. “Of course, I’ll go speak with him.” He turned. He took a step. Then another one. Then another. He stopped when he reached the bottom of the stairs. “Aren’t you coming up? For Patton?”

“Yes. I’d like to take a minute to gather my thoughts.”

“Hmm.” Another step. Then another. Roman glanced over his shoulder at Logan again. Then back.

It suddenly occurred to him that Roman was afraid, and that he should say something. So he did. “He looks up to you.” Roman looked at him with that fragile, wide-eyed look again. Logan found that look did unpleasant, strange things to him, so he looked away. “He’ll want to see you,” he reassured him.

Roman disappeared up the stairs, hesitation at least momentarily gone.

Logan sighed heavily and rolled his neck. He sat down in one of the chairs at the table, drumming his fingers along the tabletop. Taking a steadying breath in and then out, he pushed any doubt about what he was going to do from his mind. This was for the best. It was necessary. It was what the circumstances required.

“Deceit!”

Deceit was pulled up into the kitchen with his back to Logan. He visibly froze, then turned slowly to face him, looking none too pleased about being summoned. “You better have a _ very _ good reason for this,” he hissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References! Just in case you didn't know them!
> 
> [1] "Snow White Queen" is a song by Evanescence
> 
> [2] "Basket Case" is a song by Green Day, along with just the usual definition of the phrase
> 
> ***
> 
> I've written all of this story! I'll post the next chapter next Monday!


	2. Chapter 2

Roman stood outside Virgil’s door for what felt like a lifetime. Part of him wanted to turn around and lock himself in his own room. If he hid under his bed, he might not have to deal with any of this for several hours at least. But the thought of Virgil sitting alone in his room kept his feet firmly in place.

He could still hear Patton’s words echo in his mind, and they hadn’t even been directed at him. _This changes everything._ He cringed, his heart aching for Virgil. The past day had not been kind to any of them, save perhaps Logan.

Logan alone seemed the only one unbothered by Remus’s surprise visit, and Logan was the only one now who seemed anywhere near the vicinity of calm.

Carefully, Roman knocked with the edge of his fist, creating soft thuds against the door. He heard movement and then shuffling footsteps.

Virgil opened the door, looking 3 breaths away from spontaneous combustion. The eyeshadow under his eyes looked darker than Roman remembered seeing it last, only minutes ago, and his skin looked paler than normal.

Virgil smiled, but it was all wrong and jagged and tired, like he might start crying at any moment. “Princey.”

Tears filled Roman’s eyes and he had no idea why. Virgil’s expression turned into horror, and Roman had to look up at the ceiling for a moment, taking in a sharp breath through his nose. “Sorry,” he said awkwardly with a laugh, pressing a hand to his nose for a moment. “I’m not sure why–” He pressed his lips together and shook his head. He sniffled, and once he was sure he was stable again, “I just wanted to talk to you.”

Virgil glanced once behind him, into his room, and then opened the door he had been clinging to. “Er… you can’t come in because...” He gestured vaguely to his face, presumably at his eye shadow, implying the effects his room had on the others. “Uh, we could…?” He motioned towards the floor and waited for Roman to sit down across from him, watching him like a hawk the whole time.

And seeing as how he had just burst into tears without warning, Roman didn’t blame him. He was starting to see why Logan hated feelings.

Virgil said nothing, so Roman took a minute to try and figure out where he should start their conversation. “Are you ...okay?”

“I’m not okay, I promise.” [3]

Roman chuckled a little at the weak quip and rolled his eyes. “I’m serious, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance.” [3]

“I mean, what do you want me to say?” Virgil asked with enough resignation to make Roman wince. The fact that it wasn’t anger in his voice, but sadness, tugged at Roman’s heart. “Thomas hates me, Patton hates me, you…” Roman started to object, but Virgil didn’t let him. “It’s not - I mean none of you liked me at first, so it’s not _new._ But…” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he struggled to explain. “You did like me. For a while. So it’s hard now.” His voice kept getting quieter. “It hurts.”

“Hey,” Roman said as gently as he could, offering Virgil a teasing smile. “Are you done? Are you, are you done?” [4]

Virgil responded by pulling his hood up over his head.

“No, no!” Roman was quick to backtrack, scooting slightly closer to him on the floor. “I didn’t mean...” He made himself take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You were being angsty - and _I know,_ that’s your Thing™ - and I didn’t mean to belittle your feelings - I’m bad at - you know, serious things aren’t my strong suit -”

“Didn’t know you knew what ‘belittle’ meant,” Virgil mumbled, and Roman could have cried for sheer relief. At least he hadn’t messed this up too badly yet. Damn his mouth for running away from him with snarky references. (And maybe damn himself for running away from serious emotions.)

He nudged Virgil’s foot with his own. “I don’t hate you. Neither do any of the others.”

Virgil’s mouth pulled to the side and he looked away. “Sure. Whatever.” It was obvious that he didn’t believe him, and Roman didn’t know how to convince him.

“Do you doubt my word?” Roman asked with gusto, pitching his voice louder. “You would insult my honor in this way? I’ll have you know I am a prince!” He was hoping for a laugh or even a smile.

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Virgil pulled his hood back down, and although it wasn’t a laugh or a smile, Roman counted it as a win. But he knew he couldn’t avoid the hard stuff forever. Just because something was difficult to talk about didn’t mean you could shirk it. “Logan’s talking to Patton.”

Virgil looked away, grimacing.

“Don’t worry about him though. If there’s one thing he loves, it’s you, his dark strange son.” Roman shivered, dramatic effect mostly for Virgil. “I can_not_ believe I just said that.”

“And Thomas?” Virgil wasn’t meeting his gaze, picking at the threads of his jacket.

“He’ll come around.” Roman looked at Virgil’s slumped shoulders, the worry in the lines of his face, the way his gaze was firmly fixed downward. “Look, with Thomas… I think me and Patton are what’s giving him a hard time with this. You know how Patton is. Everything is either good or it’s bad. No inbetween. And then when something inbetween comes along, he goes into a tailspin. So hearing you’re a da - _you’re one of the others,”_ he hastily corrected himself, remembering their conversation in the kitchen earlier, “Sends him into a crisis.”

Virgil nodded, still fidgeting with the ends of his sleeves. “And you?”

Roman hated how small Virgil’s voice was. He hated that he and the others had been the one to cause it. “I’ve always disliked the 'Others.' Because of Remus. Me and Remus don’t really get along on most things. And me and you don’t really get along on most things either, for that matter.” He gave Virgil a wry smile. “With you reminding me of him… and being on opposite sides of issues so much... I never really gave you a fair chance.” His heart twisted, and he tried to convey his feelings to Virgil through his face. “I should have.”

“Hey,” Virgil protested lightly. “I thought being angsty was my thing. Besides, you remember how I was.” He gave a self-deprecating grin. “I wasn’t exactly trying to make friends.”

“Well you did. You have,” Roman insisted, doing his best to look earnest. “You’re my friend.”

Virgil blinked, vulnerability giving him the faintest blush. “Oh.” Roman found his awkwardness equal parts endearing and hilarious and wished he could take a picture. He almost missed Virgil’s next mumbled words: “You’re uh tolerable. I guess.”

“Tolerable?” He arched an eyebrow. “That’s all you got? Tolerable?”

A hint of outrage crept across Virgil’s cheeks, coloring them slightly darker. “Well what am I supposed to say? You’ve just sprung all this on me.” He gestured towards Roman in general.

“Oh I don’t know, how about, _thank you, Roman. I’m your friend too, Roman. I love you Roman. You’re such a good friend to me, Roman.”_

Virgil gave him a funny look, gesturing to himself. “You know I’m not Deceit, right?”

Roman squawked indignantly, his mouth falling open. “We were having a moment! It was soft! There were feelings!”

“I don’t do feelings, Princey.” Virgil rolled his eyes.

“You’re literally _Anxiety._ You have to do _some_ feelings.”

“Oh, you’re just jealous because you confessed all your mushy feelings to me. Tough luck. Should’ve been smart like me.” Smirking, he tapped a finger against his chest. “I keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die.” [5]

“Awww,” Roman cooed, sickly sweet. “So you _do_ have mushy feelings!”

“Not for you.”

Roman gave him a deadpan and stare and just held it. He watched him squirm under his gaze until eventually Virgil gave in and stood up.

“Okay, okay. Enough with the staring.” He offered Roman a hand up. “Let’s watch The Black Cauldron or something.”

*

Deceit was pulled up into the kitchen with his back to Logan. He froze, then turned slowly to face him, looking none too pleased about being summoned. “You better have a _very_ good reason for this,” he hissed.

Logan simply looked at him. He was so tired from the events of the past day. Dealing with Remus alone had been frustrating, more because of how Remus made the others react, and less because of Remus himself. Logan tried to keep his voice civil and not let it grow biting and pointed. “I would not have summoned you unless I had a good reason.”

Deceit narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms but otherwise didn’t respond.

Logan sighed, cutting right to the matter at hand. “Virgil has informed Thomas, Patton, Roman, and myself that he used to be… ah… one of you. The reactions this garnered have been somewhat... distressing for him.”

Something shifted in Deceit’s face, something that Logan couldn’t name. Deceit’s tone, colored with lazy disinterest, clashed horribly with the hardness in his expression. “And what was _your_ reaction?”

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. He understood Deceit’s wariness and accusations, truly he did, but he would much rather focus on rectifying the situation at present. But he needed Deceit’s help and therefore, his trust. “I was unsurprised, as I had already deduced this fact. Who Virgil was or what he did in the past matters far less than what he is currently doing and aiming to be. And regardless, while I may disagree with his previous methods, being ‘too scary to be ignored’ was crude but effective.” It was his turn to cross his arms. “I have attempted to assuage Virgil’s concerns, but some of the others do not share my ease with the situation. I require your help.”

Deceit’s expression was blank. “My ...help. You want my help.” It wasn’t phrased as a question, nor really spoken with the tone of a question either, but Logan registered it as one all the same.

“You acutely understand that there is a great deal of subjectivity to morality and recognize that good and bad are not absolutes.” Logan gestured for him to take a seat across from him. Deceit did, neatly folding his hands on the tabletop.

“How did the others react?”

“Roman was aware of the fact beforehand and suspiciously quiet in his opinions. I believe Virgil found this upsetting because Roman is usually rather… ah…”

“Vocal,” Deceit supplied dryly.

“Yes, vocal with his opinions. Patton was unaware and particularly upset. He told Virgil ‘this changes everything’ before sinking out.”

Deceit swore, ignoring the eyebrow Logan arched.

“Thomas -”

“I know,” Deceit cut him off. At Logan’s expectant look, all he said was, “Virgil already told me.”

Logan found this piece of information intriguing but set it aside for consideration at a later time. He was curious about the Others, but first a crisis needed to be averted. “Roman has gone to speak with Virgil, and I intend to reason with Patton. I would like for you to be present as well.”

Deceit looked at him as though he had suggested Thomas plan a weekend trip to the planet Mercury for a bit of sunbathing. “Explain.”

“You presented an excellent defense of the ethics behind lying for Thomas’s sake, and I know you agree that deciding what is right often comes down to considering circumstances rather than the morality of a specific action.”

“Sure, I agree with you about all this right and wrong nonsense,” Deceit unlaced his fingers and waved one hand haphazardly, “But this isn’t about a debate. This is about convincing Patton. You do realize he may not value my input as much as you seem to, don’t you?”

“Yes but -”

“Logan,” Deceit cut off his protests, but then winced. “Logic,” he amended with a tilt of his head. Logan found the correction unnecessary. “You are fully capable of presenting the facts of the matter to Patton. The only reason I can see for you to need my help would be if you hope to sway him with some sleight of hand, or sleight of mind, rather. But even then, it wouldn’t work because Patton does not trust me.” Deceit leaned forward, something sharp and calculating in his gaze. He brought his hands together in front of him, close enough so his fingertips touched together, steepled. “What do you want from me?”

Slumping down in his chair, Logan let his gaze drop to the floor. “Patton’s absolutism needs to be challenged. It was fine, necessary even, when Thomas was younger, but he is no longer a child. And now with the dichotomy Roman has created between Remus and himself, Patton and you, Virgil and myself…” He held up a hand and opened it in a hopeless gesture. “We must all collectively realize the world in general does not function as a series of set, discrete binaries but as a spectrum. Such a fundamental shift however…”

He looked up at Deceit, seeing concern mirrored on his face. In the silence of the kitchen, it felt only proper to whisper his misgivings. “Can it even be done? What scale are we looking at in terms of the impact it could have? I simply don’t know.”

“You’re afraid.”

Logan startled, jerking upright. Nervous fingers came up to straighten his already orderly tie. “I’m _trepidatious.”_

Deceit gave him a pointed look, but thankfully dropped the subject. “I’ll go with you to talk to Patton. Anyways, I relish the opportunity to teach _morals_ to _Morality.”_

“Well - that’s not quite -”

“However, I do want this to succeed,” Deceit continued, ignoring Logan, “so I must remind you of the fact you continue to overlook: Patton will not want me there.”

Logan waved a hand, dismissing the protest. “He trusts me. If he objects to your presence, I will remind him of this fact. We will consider you my guest in the discussion.”

A cheshire grin spread across Deceit’s face. “Manipulating and leveraging a fellow side? Why, I’m proud of you.”

Logan’s face pinched. He wasn’t quite sure it was as exaggerated and sinister as Deceit was making it out to be, but he decided to choose his battles. “So we’re agreed?”

“I suppose we are.”

Logan stood up from the table. “Then let's go see Patton.”

*

Roman led Virgil back to his room, where they watched not only The Black Cauldron, but also Lilo and Stitch, and then Moana. As the credits for Moana scrolled across the screen, Virgil looked over to find Roman asleep. He was stretched out across the lower half of his bed, mouth slightly open. Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle to himself at the sight.

He slowly pushed himself off the headboard and let the blanket fall from his shoulders. There were several pops as he stood up and stretched. Taking the blanket Roman had let him borrow, he carefully fluffed it out over the sleeping prince. He closed the door quietly behind him, careful not to wake him.

The hallway was dark and silent. Absently, he wondered what time it was. He knew he should probably walk down the hall to his own room and sleep, but something held him back. A restlessness itched just under his skin. He wanted something - needed something - but he didn’t know what. And the idea of returning to his room, to the shadows and the whispers that lurked there - well, even he knew that was a bad idea at the moment.

So he wandered down the steps, into the living room. He closed his eyes, standing in the middle of the room, and let the strange magic of the early hours of the morning wash over him.

It was quiet, besides the steady, rhythmic ticking of a clock over the sink in the kitchen. With his eyes closed, the world seemed to dwindle away until nothing was left but the feeling of his breathing and the sound of his heart beating in his ears. The longer his eyes stayed closed, the more he could _feel._

And that was probably why he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He started to scream, only for the sound to be immediately muffled by a hand thrown across his mouth. The force of someone throwing their body at him pushed him backwards, and then he was falling and trying to grab at anything to stay upright and there were arms everywhere and touching him and then - something soft.

He blinked into the shadows of the room, shoving the hand from his mouth. “Remus!” he whisper-screamed, hoping Remus hadn’t managed to wake the others with his shenanigans. “What was that?!” He was halfway convinced he was having a heart attack.

Remus had the audacity to laugh, still laying across Virgil, seemingly unbothered by the fact that he was squashing him. “I saw you standing in the middle of the room in the dark. What else was I supposed to do?”

“Literally anything else?!” He pushed Remus away. “Get off me.” And then, before his brain could stop him, he added for good measure, “Fuck you.”

Remus crawled back on top of him in a flash, pinning him to whatever they were laying on. His face got scarily close to Virgil’s, his mouth stretched into a grin that was all teeth. “Alright, if you insist,” he replied airily.

“Remus!” Virgil whisper-yelled again, vainly trying to get out from under him. “I just want to sleep, okay? I’ve had a bad day.”

“You’d be up in your room if you wanted to sleep.”

“I. Er.” Virgil shut his mouth and sighed. He didn’t have the words or the energy to explain why he didn’t want to be up in his room.

“You told Thomas.” Virgil flinched, but Remus kept going, with the suddenness and intensity of when he felt the need to say things as they occurred to him. “And now he hates you.”

Something cracked inside Virgil. He stopped struggling against Remus. “Yeah,” he said bitterly, “That about sums it up.” Without conscious thought, he grabbed a fistful of Remus’s sleeve in one of his hands. “I guess you’ll be seeing a lot more of me again.”

“Nah.” Remus shifted some, letting go of him, and then let himself collapse next to Virgil.

Virgil rolled his head over. “Wait. Is this - are we in _bed?”_

“Yep,” Remus answered, popping the ‘p’, and although the dark made it hard to tell, he thought Remus winked. “Conjured it up when you toppled us over.”

“Toppled-? _Me?_ You did that!”

“Hey!” Remus whisper-yelled in reminder, “The others are sleeping.”

Virgil let an ungodly shriek form in the back of his throat, keeping his mouth closed to muffle it. Remus just laughed. Virgil made himself take a deep breath. “Are we still downstairs?” When Remus nodded, he asked, “Where’s the rest of the furniture?”

Remus paused for a moment. “I don’t know.” And the fact didn’t seem to bother him at all. He snapped his fingers and a set of sheets and a quilt settled over them both.

Virgil folded the edges over, pulling them up around him. “Do I want to know the pattern on these?”

“Probably not.” There was a beat and then: “It’s butts.”

Virgil could hear in his voice the pleased smile Remus was wearing, and he couldn’t help but start to giggle. Then when Remus joined in, neither of them could seem to stop.

“You’re a mess,” Virgil managed to get out, between giggles.

“Thanks!”

They both slowly calmed down, until there was nothing but the sounds of their breathing and the ticking of the clock again.

Remus poked his cheek exactly once.

“Yeah?” When Remus didn’t say anything, Virgil turned to look at him. His eyes were wide and round and almost seemed to glow in the darkened room. He was biting his lip because Virgil could see his teeth. He sighed. “Alright, come on. We told you to save what little impulse control you have for important times. This isn’t one of them.”

When Remus started talking, it all came out in a rush, words running together until the questions overlapped. “Have you thought of setting your hand on fire? Or swimming in lava? We could climb inside the dryer. Or the oven! We could lock ourselves in a car in the summer until we melted. We could microwave our head! Let’s set our hair on fire! Or we could turn on the stove and touch it. We could try and electrocute ourselves - it could give us superpowers! Imagine if we had laser eyes! Think of all the things we could set on fire with laser eyes. It’d be like reverse fire fighting. Like Fahrenheit 451! We’d be starting the fires!”

Remus kept going like this for a few minutes, and Virgil carefully measured his own breathing, counting so he kept calm. At least this one seemed to be focused on fire. He hated the ones that had sharp things or blood. When Remus finally tired himself out, Virgil reached out and pulled him closer, so they were touching.

Remus grabbed the fabric of Virgil’s jacket, above the pockets, somewhere over his ribs. He worked his fingers across the fabric, opening and closing his fist, gathering and releasing the fabric in his hand.

“I missed you.”

It was so quiet and said with such reluctance, Virgil wasn’t sure if Remus had meant to say it at all.

“I hate you.”

Virgil did his absolute best to not let the venom in Remus’s words sting. Sure, they said stuff like that to each other all the time. But this was different. This was raw and painful and soaked with all the importance and sincerity of secrets told in the early hours of the morning.

_“You left.”_

Virgil’s throat closed up, and something heavy settled inside his chest. He held Remus tighter. “I know.” And what else was there to say? He was sorry, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t stay, he couldn’t stop himself from being pulled to the other sides, but he didn’t want to leave anyone behind either. He couldn’t stop what was happening, not like Deceit could, not like how Deceit could hide things from Thomas.

But now, what did it matter? He had been accepted and joined the ‘light sides’ and for what? To be cast out? To be forced back into the role of villain? He had no idea what would happen, now that Thomas knew who he was (and now that he seemed far from happy about it all). Anything could happen. Things could easily go back to exactly how they were before.

But despite the circumstances, despite the complicated feelings, despite it all, he wanted Remus to be happy. He wanted Deceit to be happy. He wanted all of them to be happy. Or at the very least, to be okay.

He wanted to get to choose what he was, to decide what happened to him. It wasn’t fair.

But he couldn’t change anything now. All he could do was let Remus sleep next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [3] "I'm Not Okay, I Promise" is a song by My Chemical Romance, the band that Roman references with the nickname "My Chemically Imbalanced Romance" (this nickname is directly from the series, and I think Virgil actually mentions I’m Not Okay I Promise in the series too but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ what can I say? It’s good content, I’m unoriginal, and y’all are here for the feelings anyway!)
> 
> [4] This is a line M'Baku says in the movie Black Panther after some of the other characters have a Heartfelt Moment™
> 
> EDIT: sorry I missed a reference!  
[5] “I keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die” is a John Mulaney quote!
> 
> ***  
I was gonna post the next chapter on Monday and make it like a weekly update thing but that's so far away so I'm gonna post the next chapter on Thursday. I hope y'all liked this one! :D
> 
> I would love to read your thoughts on how I wrote the scene with Remus! We don't have much canon of him to go off of, and I really like making characters a bit soft, but I'd love to know what you think of how I wrote him and his interactions with Virgil! And also on how I wrote Deceit! They’ll both be showing back up again!


	3. Chapter 3

Three sharp knocks. “Patton? This is Logan. I need to speak with you.”

There was a thump that Deceit and Logan exchanged a glance at. “Patton?”

They heard something shifting and then footfalls on the other side of the door before Patton responded faintly, “Can it wait?”

“No.”

After a minute, the door opened a little. The lights were turned off in Patton’s room, which was strange, because even at night, Logan knew he slept with fairy lights on. Patton’s face appeared in the gap of the partially open door. He glanced between Logan and Deceit and winced. “Hi.” His eyes looked swollen and pink. He looked miserable.

Patton’s appearance was… concerning, but Logan cleared his throat, determined to have the conversation they desperately needed to have. “I have asked Deceit to join this discussion because I -” He suddenly stopped as they watched Patton seize up, hands gripping the door. His shirt flickered solid, individual colors from the spectrum, red to purple, almost too fast for Logan to register. His glasses disappeared and then reappeared, along with a baseball cap, a tutu, a sweatshirt, a feather boa, and then a bowtie, in the world’s fastest wardrobe change.

And then, just as abruptly as it had occurred, it was over. Patton shivered and offered them a helpless grin. “Surprise?”

Logan stood perfectly still for a solid minute, unable to do anything but stare as Patton grew increasingly more uncomfortable. Deceit was making strange noises next to him, as if he kept opening his mouth to say something and never quite got anything out.

A smack to the back of Logan’s head allowed him to reboot (although he would be taking up the topic of violence with Deceit at a later time). “Patton. What was that?”

Patton grimaced and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I think I’m having some difficulty adjusting.”

“Difficulty?” Logan felt his eyebrows rise into his hairline. “This seems far more severe than that.”

“Wait,” Deceit said slowly. “Adjusting to what?”

Patton’s frown deepened, and Logan decided Patton’s face was not made for frowning. “Oh… you know…” The look in his eyes begged them not to make him say it out loud.

“Is this about Virgil?” Deceit pressed, taking half a step forward. “About what happened?”

For a second, Logan thought Patton was going to shut them out and hide in his room again. But Patton opened the door more and slumped against the doorframe, looking exhausted. “Yeah. I thought the dark sides - you guys,” Patton qualified in a guilty voice, “Were bad. But I know Virgil is good. And now I’m just having trouble connecting the two.” He tensed and briefly flashed several different colors again, this time accompanied by cat ears, suspenders, and then a trenchcoat. “I just need some time. I’ll be okay.”

Deceit hit the back of Logan’s head again.

“Hey!” Logan protested at the same time as Patton. “That’s enough of that!”

Deceit pointed an accusing finger at Logan. “You said he was upset! Mad!” He stepped closer to jab his finger into Logan’s chest. “You said he hated Virgil!”

“Logan!” Patton turned to him, surprised.

Logan’s hand came up to grab Deceit’s wrist. _ “I said _ Patton was distressed because he was unaware of Virgil’s past. _ I said _ we needed to challenge his moral absolutism. And it would seem he has already arrived at that juncture himself.”

Wrenching his hand free, Deceit pinched the bridge of his nose at the same time Logan reached up to adjust his glasses. They looked like a strange mirror of each other, and both abruptly dropped their hands, glaring at the other.

“Well,” Deceit grumbled. “It could be worse.”

“Kiddos,” Patton called for their attention, something fragile and wavering in his tone. “…Does Virgil think I _ hate _ him?”

Logan opened his mouth and then promptly shut it, looking helplessly at Deceit.

Deceit sighed. “I don’t _ know… _but knowing how Virgil is…”

Tears welled up in Patton’s eyes. “I never - I didn’t react well but…” He latched onto Logan, pleading with him, “I don’t hate him. I could never!” He collapsed into him, sobbing in his arms.

Logan stiffly returned the embrace, patting him in what he hoped was a comforting manner. All at once Patton pulled free, looking down the hallway, already starting to move. “I have to tell him! I have to -”

“Easy,” Deceit stopped him with a hand on his chest. “He’s probably asleep.”

Logan wondered if he was lying, but decided he was probably right. In his best estimation, Virgil had probably had an anxiety attack after sinking out of the kitchen and wore himself out thoroughly enough with his worrying to have gone to bed at a decent hour. Hopefully Roman had been of some aid before that.

Deceit’s free hand came up to hold Patton’s shoulder, keeping him firmly in place. “He’ll still be here tomorrow, and he’ll have calmed down enough to not panic the moment he lays eyes on you.”

Silent tears streamed down Patton’s cheeks, and Deceit’s voice grew low and gentle. “It’s alright,” he murmured. “Everything will be better in the morning.”

Patton threw his arms around Deceit, making them both stumble back a step. Deceit tentatively held him, and his eyes were wide in panic when he looked at Logan over Patton’s shoulder.

Logan turned and walked into Patton’s room and flicked the fairy lights on. He folded down the blankets on Patton’s bed and moved several stuffed animals to the other side. Behind him, he could hear Deceit quietly whispering things to Patton as the two of them edged farther into Patton’s room. Logan couldn’t have said if Deceit was directing him to bed or whispering sweet nothings or intimidating him into obedience. Perhaps a combination of the three. Perhaps none of them.

He turned a lamp on, one with animal cutouts that cast animal-shapes onto the walls. He and Deceit carefully tucked Patton in bed. Just as soon as the blankets had settled, Deceit retreated to the far side of the room, hovering near the door.

Logan sat on the edge of Patton’s bed, reciting elements from the periodic table under his breath as Patton’s sniffles slowly turned into even breathing. Patton clutched his hand the entire time.

When he seemed well and truly asleep, Logan carefully pulled his hand free and stood up. As they left, Deceit closed the door behind them.

They both stood motionless in the silent hallway.

Finally, gathering himself, Logan turned to Deceit. “You were good. With him. With the…” His face pinched. “The feelings.”

“It’s easy when you’re a liar.” Deceit smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Logan scrubbed his hands across his face, knocking his glasses askew before righting them again. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this exhausted. “Thank you, for coming with me. All in all, it went better than I anticipated. But I appreciate your efforts.”

Deceit just stared at him. “We’re not out of the woods yet. Tomorrow could be much worse. Probably will be.”

“Then we’ll deal with it tomorrow. After we have all properly rested.” He expected Deceit to sink down, to go to his room, wherever it was in the mindscape. He did not expect Deceit to turn on his heels and start off down the hallway.

“Where are you going?” Logan called quietly after him.

Deceit stopped. “To find Virgil.”

“Virgil?” Logan took a step forward, even knowing there was no way he could deal with anything else at the moment. “Surely he’s -”

“Sleeping?” Deceit laughed, mirthless and sharp around the edges. “Not a chance in hell.”

_ Oh. _

Something shifted in Deceit’s face, and then he was looking at Logan the same way he had looked at Patton before. And in the same gentle whispering, “Go to bed.”

Logan scarcely remembered walking himself to his room and crawling into bed. For once in his existence, he thought of absolutely nothing. When he woke up in the morning, he couldn't remember falling asleep, and that was probably for the best. After all, as Patton was discovering, reconciling reality with belief was difficult. And Logic didn’t cry.

*

Deceit went to Virgil’s room first, poking the lump of blankets on the bed, nudging the piles of clothes on the floor. He even looked under the bed for good measure. But Virgil didn’t seem to be in his room. The kitchen and living room downstairs were just as empty. He tried his own room, only to find Remus painting snakes on his walls. (Remus had shrugged when he asked why.)

He was fairly certain Remus had enough impulse control to stop himself from doing exactly one thing every three weeks. Certainly not more than that.

Feeling a rising sense of panic at this point, Deceit had even checked Remus’s room, although he wasn’t surprised to find that Virgil wasn’t there.

He finally grew desperate enough to check the other’s rooms, starting with Roman. He vaguely remembered Logan saying something about Roman and Virgil talking when they were going to see Patton. Perhaps Virgil was with Roman. He hoped so anyway, because he was running out of places to look.

He nudged open Roman’s door, just enough to see inside. He could hear the TV on before he could see it. Roman was laying on the floor, his feet going up the side of the bed, effectively watching upside down, singing along to the opening credits of Lilo and Stitch. [6] The song was in Hawaiian, but Roman seemed to know the words he was singing rather than simply the tune. Well. He was a dedicated Disney fan, Deceit would give him that much.

When he saw Virgil sitting on Roman’s bed, watching the screen, he let out a relieved breath. Hopefully his talk with Roman had helped settle his nerves.

Deceit pulled away from the door and then sunk down, reappearing in his room. Remus was wiping his hands on his pants, smearing yellow paint across the dark fabric.

Rolling his eyes, Deceit snapped his fingers, and Remus’s clothes were paint free once more.

“Ah ah,” Remus chided him. “No changing anyone else. That’s a rule.”

“For the others,” Deceit scoffed, rolling his eyes at the fact that Remus would even protest. It wasn’t like he changed Remus into another person or something ridiculous, like a puppet. He had simply gotten rid of the paint stains. “We weren’t even in that video.” He paused long enough to realize what he had said before quickly adding, “But you should follow that rule. No changing anyone else.”

“Sure we weren’t in the video, but we were there.” Remus twisted his head at an unnatural angle and let this eyes flicker solid white. “Watching. Listening.”

Deceit walked past him and shoved his shoulder. “Knock it off. There’s no one here to scare.” He sat down on his bed, and Remus righted himself, back to what passed as normal for him. 

“Aww Dee,” he whined. “It’s just a bit of fun.”

Whatever ‘fun’ idea occurred to Remus, he usually pursued it, consequences be damned. He had a lot of energy and a lot of ideas; he just needed a bit of structure and a distraction sometimes. And Deceit was currently in a good enough mood to provide it. “Alright, let’s play a game.”

Remus brightened up immediately. “Cards against humanity?”

“As long as I get to lay down, I’ll play anything.”

Usually, a group of several people would play a game like cards against humanity. But Virgil and Deceit both had long since learned to let Remus bend some of the rules and play games the way he wanted them to be played.

So rather than the usual gameplay, the game went more like this:

> Deceit would draw a black card.
> 
> Both Remus and Deceit would lay down white cards.
> 
> Remus would read them both out loud and pick a winner (if Deceit was feeling particularly tetchy or cheerful, he would sometimes argue about who was the winner).
> 
> If Remus was feeling excitable, he’d start in on a topic from the cards.
> 
> Then rinse and repeat.

Remus was perfectly happy to let Deceit lay on the floor and absently listen. Every now and then Remus would nudge him if he took too long in laying a card down or hadn’t murmured a “mhm” in a while to show he was listening, but mostly it was just Remus working through his thoughts as they popped into his head.

“Have you ever thought about mass genocide?” Deceit said he had, which pleased Remus. Deceit didn’t tell him it was only because of all the history classes they had sat through in school.

Remus had quite a lot of unrepeatable things to say when they laid down the cards “finding Waldo” and “flying sex snakes” in the same turn. Deceit mostly tuned out that spiel.

Every now and then he would be pleasantly surprised when Remus would talk about something not related to butts. In fact, he had been nearly speechless when Remus launched into a rant after seeing the card, “the folly of man.” Of course, the next turn, he described _ in detail _ the taste and texture of a stick of deodorant and the sensations it gave _ throughout _ the digestive process.

But that was Remus.

The game continued and Deceit could feel himself growing more and more sleepy. He let his eyes close, throwing out a card at random from his stack when Remus prompted him. Not paying attention to Remus’s words made his voice surprisingly lulling. It was good background noise.

They had been playing for who knows how long when Remus suddenly exclaimed, “Virgil!”

Deceit opened an eye and lazily asked what he meant.

“He’s - oh hold on.” Remus sunk out.

For a second, Deceit considering going after him. Virgil, after all, was having possibly the worst day of his existence and Remus wasn’t exactly a calm and reassuring presence. Although, really, he thought, none of the sides were. Most of them weren’t even calm, let alone reassuring.

But, he had told Remus what was going on with Virgil and Thomas and Patton and the others. Remus was his own entity. Deceit wasn’t his keeper. Remus could make his own decisions. He had no obligation to go and check on them. None whatsoever.

He decided he’d give them a few minutes and then check to make sure no one was dead.

A few minutes turned into more than he could count. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but all the sudden he was waking on the floor of his room, and the scattered black and white cards reminded him that he was meant to be preventing a possible homicide.

He sunk out, appearing first in Virgil’s room. When he found no one there, he walked downstairs.

He tried (and failed) not to laugh when he saw Remus and Virgil all tangled up on a bed sitting in the middle of the living room. The space felt strangely empty with no table or chairs and the sofa missing. Stepping closer, he realized Virgil had to be squeezing the life out of Remus, as tight as he seemed to be holding him. But Remus was fast asleep, so he clearly didn’t mind. One of Remus’s thumbs was stuck in his mouth, so Deceit crawled onto the bed, minding the dips in the mattress his movements were making. He pulled Remus’s thumb out of his mouth and replaced it with the squishy pendant of the necklace Remus wore.

He sat back, suddenly seeing the pattern on the sheets. They were butts. _ What a mess. _ He shook his head, the tiniest bit amused despite himself.

It was all lovely and dim and quiet and warm in the bed with the other two. He was still terribly tired. He told himself he’d lay down for just a few minutes. He’d get up in a moment and go back to his room soon.

At some indeterminable time later, he had just enough self awareness to realize he had crawled under the sheets and blankets. _ Remus? Virgil? _ Whoever he was next to was wonderfully warm. And that was the last thing he could remember thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [6] Lilo and Stitch is such a good movie!! Here's the song I mentioned: [He Mele No Lilo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtsV4bWPHsY)
> 
> ***  
I'll post the last chapter on Monday!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need every single one of you who has left me a comment to know that 1. It made my day, 2. You're near and dear to my heart, and 3. I would die for you. 
> 
> I appreciate the hell outta y'all <3

An ungodly shriek woke Virgil. He scrambled to throw off all the things touching him, all the things holding him down, as he blinked into the bright light. His still partly asleep brain struggled to make sense of what he was seeing. He heard footsteps like someone was running upstairs.

There was a bed in the living room - _why was there a bed? _\- and Logan was staring at him in surprise from the kitchen doorway. “Logan?”

Logan blinked. “Apologies. You all startled me.”

Virgil looked over his shoulder and saw Remus and Deceit - and _oh right,_ he remembered Remus had found him downstairs last night. But he couldn’t remember when Deceit had arrived.

“I’ll save you!” Roman shouted, brandishing his katana, nearly tripping down the stairs at the speed he was going.

Logan and Deceit both started yelling at the same time, and Virgil couldn’t really make out what they were saying beyond “safety” and “overreaction.” Remus looked delighted and summoned his morning star. Virgil was trying and failing to convince Remus that fighting before breakfast was a bad idea. Logan had come up behind Roman, a hand on his shoulder, gesturing with vigor to his sword. Roman was largely ignoring him in favor of yelling at Deceit, who was doing the same in return.

“HEY!”

Everyone froze. Patton made his way down the steps (at a much more reasonable pace than Roman had), and Deceit took several steps back, coming to stand closer to Remus than to Roman.

“What is this?” Patton gestured towards the room, his gaze moving from Roman to Remus and then lingering on the bed.

Roman snapped his fingers and the bed disappeared. All the regular furniture popped up in its place.

Everyone glanced around the room at each other and waited.

Virgil felt ready to crawl out of his skin. The only thing worse than a confrontation was waiting for one.

Finally, Patton broke the silence. “I think we all need to talk.”

Virgil felt his heart fall somewhere around his knees. He was tempted to sink out right then and there, but he didn’t dare move and draw any more attention to himself.

Roman and Logan stepped closer to make their circle smaller so they could all talk, but Remus stepped forward, too close into their circle. He was grinning but it was all wrong, and Virgil wouldn’t be surprised if he had made his teeth sharper, just for the shock factor. Remus always had a flair for the dramatic. He swung his morning star up on his shoulder and turned his head nearly all the way sideways with a horrible cracking noise. “Have you ever,” he began idly, in a voice that would have fit Patton better than it did him, “Have you ever wondered... what would it be like... to kill your brother and his friends?”

“Remus…” Virgil warned in a low voice.

Roman took a step forward, still holding his katana aloft, and Patton and Logan both stepped forward to grab his shoulders.

“Roman,” Logan hissed. “Please use even an iota of common sense.”

Remus shifted his morning star where it sat on his shoulder and glared at them. “Don’t take another step.”

Deceit looked at Logan and raised an eyebrow. Logan nodded.

“Remus,” Deceit started out, “Patton has something to say…”

Remus started to swing his morning star just as Virgil reached out and grabbed it, putting his hands over top of Remus’s and forcing him to stop. “No, no, it’s fine! We were just leaving anyway!”

“No - that’s not -” Patton gasped, and his clothes turned different colors. Virgil thought he saw a straw hat and a cape and thigh high socks and a leather jacket but when he blinked, Patton was the same as always, cardigan and glasses.

“HOLY SPIDERVERSE.” [7] Roman grabbed Patton’s shoulders, shaking him slightly. “ARE YOU OKAY?”

“Well he’s not hard of hearing,” Logan snapped, swatting Roman’s hands away as he ushered Patton to the sofa. Roman and Logan sat on either side of him, while Deceit collapsed into an armchair, leaving Remus and Virgil standing in front of them. “Care to explain?”

Patton’s smile was paper thin. “When Virgil told us -”

Remus bristled. “Glitch or not,” [8] he pointed an accusing finger at Patton, “I’ll still kill you.” He paused, and then seemed to add as an afterthought, “And I’ll dismember your body.”

“Wreck–It Ralph reference,” Roman mumbled. “Ten points to Slytherin. Although ten points to Gryffindor for my own reference. I think mine was a more accurate comparison than Vanellope Von Schweetz, so five extra points. And I’d like to take five points for your excessive -”

“Roman, Remus, if you don’t let Patton get his apology out, I swear I will kill you both myself.” Deceit pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed rather loudly.

Remus grumbled under his breath, but Virgil focused on what Deceit had said. “Wait, wait. _Apology?”_

“I’m sorry, kiddo.” Patton’s expression was starting to look a little wobbly and watery. “I reacted badly when you told us you used to be one of the Others.”

“I - you - ngk?” [9]

Patton reached for him, trying to beckon him to the sofa, but Virgil flinched backwards, almost falling over. Remus threw an arm around Virgil’s shoulders, dragging him roughly into his side. Virgil hissed in response, ignoring the spark of solace that fluttered somewhere behind his ribs at being held.

Patton reached up to rub at his eyes. “I’m so sorry! I never - I didn’t -” His eyes widened, and he breathed out the horrified realization, “I’m _bad." _[10]

Panic engulfed Virgil. He had never meant for any of this to happen. “You’re not bad! No one is completely bad.” His shoulders sagged. “That’s what I’ve been… trying to… ugh.” He looked helplessly at Deceit.

“I think I’m starting to get that now.” Patton’s face contorted into something between a smile and a grimace.

“Someone please tell Virgil he’s not being kicked out of…” Deceit’s face pinched as he looked at the Logan, Roman, and Patton sitting together on the sofa. _“That _before he explodes.”

Roman sucked in a shocked breath, but it was Patton who reassured Virgil. “What I said before - this does change things. It has to. But it doesn’t change your place here. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just afraid of what this meant for me.”

A wounded noise came from somewhere in Virgil’s chest. “You - what?”

Remus cuffed him and then seemed delighted when Virgil shot him a dirty look. He let go of his morning star, which promptly blinked out of existence. Launching himself at Virgil, Remus grabbed him in a headlock and mussed his hair. “I told you so.” He loosened his grip enough that Virgil could slip out.

Virgil shoved him, _hard,_ but his mind was thinking about what Remus had said and the sad little smile on his face as he said it.

“Everything’s gonna be okay, kiddo,” Patton said gently, reaching out for him.

“Actually…” Virgil shook his head, looking over at Deceit and briefly catching his shocked expression, “I don’t think it is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was a… one of the others.”

“But you’ve changed!”

Virgil shook his head again. “Sure, but I’ll never be… I’m always gonna be Anxiety. I’ll always be…” He rubbed the back of his neck, hating the words as they left his mouth, “A little much.”

“Do we need to review the benefits you provide to Thomas?” Logan summoned the graph of the Yerkes–Dodson curve.

“No, no,” Virgil waved him off. “I know I help Thomas. Maybe not always in the best way, but I’ve helped Thomas. I’ve always helped him. Always _wanted_ to help him. Even… even when I was one of the others.”

Suddenly Remus grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the TV, away from the other sides. “Don’t do this,” he hissed.

“What?”

Remus leaned around Virgil to glare at someone and warn, “Sit down or I’ll remove every bone from your body with a rusty spoon.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and, without turning around, yelled, “I’m fine.” He lowered his voice like Remus had initially done. “Look. They’re wrong on this, okay? And I’ve been sitting on pins and needles for way too long because of it. It’s not fair, not to me, not to Thomas, not to you and Dee.”

“Don’t do this because of us,” Remus implored, sounding far too serious for Virgil’s liking. “You have a good thing with these idiots. If you ruin it all just for us, you’ll hate yourself in a week. And worse, you’ll hate us again.”

He repressed a wince. “Okay first, I never hated you. I just… things were complicated.” Remus gave him a look that said _You’re full of shit,_ so Virgil pressed on. “And second, this is for Thomas. And maybe a little for me and you and Deceit.” Then before Remus could protest anymore, he turned, stalking back towards the others.

Deceit and Logan were in the middle of some kind of argument or discussion, Virgil wasn’t sure, but they both fell silent when he and Remus rejoined the group.

“New rules.” He looked at each of the other five, making sure they were listening. “It’s all or nothing. Everyone gets a fair shot or…” He hesitated for only a moment. “Or I’m leaving with Remus and Deceit.”

Roman frowned pensively. “You care about my brother that much?”

“Woah! Let’s not get carried away!” Remus protested at the same time that Virgil scoffed, “As if! He’s got one braincell and the last time he used it was 2004.”

Deceit spoke up, quietly but firmly, standing with his arms crossed. “No chance in hell Virgil leaves with us.”

Virgil crossed his arms in response. “You’re not in charge of me. I’ll go wherever I wanna go.”

“I don’t appreciate your tone.”

“Fuck off.”

“Okay,” Roman stood up from the sofa. “I think we’re getting off track here.”

“Thank you, Roman.” Roman beamed at Logan. “Deceit is correct. Virgil will not be needing to leave. I’m sure,” he looked pointedly at Roman and Patton, “That we can agree that all any of us want is the best for Thomas. And further, perhaps that _should_ warrant a fair chance for everyone to offer their thoughts and opinions when issues arise.”

Remus made a confused noise. “You’re not serious.”

Virgil, Roman, and Patton all, with varying degrees of long-suffering, parroted, “He’s always serious.” Logan looked around at them, clearly pleased, before catching Remus’s gaze again and gesturing pointedly to his necktie.

“So…” Deceit said slowly, doubt coloring his tone, “What’s happening here, huh? Surely you can’t mean–”

“It’s a truce, Snake Face.”

“Okay, first rule of the truce,” Deceit shot back at Roman, “You don’t call me that anymore.”

“Then what should we call you?”

The room seemed to collectively hold its breath. “You could call me… by my name…”

“Five bucks he just says Deceit,” Remus whispered to Virgil.

“Ten bucks he says one of those stupid puns he’s always coming up with,” Virgil whispered back.

“You can trust us, kiddo,” Patton gently encouraged Deceit.

“Well… it’s… _Deceit.”_ He winked with a Cheshire grin, making Roman roll his eyes. “You thought I was gonna tell you my name? Don’t make me laugh. I don’t trust that easy.”

“Damn,” Virgil swore softly, but he couldn’t help but laugh when Remus smirked. Looks like he owed Remus ten bucks now.

Logan cleared his throat. “Are we…” He quickly flipped through several flashcards. “…gucci?”

Virgil made a strangled noise, and Remus burst into giggles. Deceit looked between Patton and Roman before asking, “You make him _flashcards?”_

“It’s what the kids are saying these days,” Roman defended himself.

Remus leaned over to Virgil and whispered, “Press X to doubt,” which sent them both into fits of laughter.

“So …truce?” Patton asked hesitantly, looking between Remus and Deceit before focusing on Virgil.

Virgil rolled his eyes fondly, feeling his mouth quirk up in a smile. “Truce, Popstar.”

Patton grinned, practically glowing with happiness, and jumped up from the sofa to throw his arms around Virgil.

_“Popstar?”_ Deceit mouthed the nickname, catching Virgil’s gaze and laughing.

_“Fuck off,”_ Virgil mouthed back, not losing his smile.

“Group hug?” Patton asked, still in Virgil’s arms, sounding a little unsure. He must have turned his puppy eyes on Remus, because suddenly Virgil could feel Remus join their hug, followed quickly by Roman.

“If I really must…” Logan said stiffly, not fooling anyone.

“Deceit,” Remus said in a sing-song voice, laced with false sweetness, “Get over here or I’ll steal all of your left shoes.” [11]

With heavy grumbling, Deceit shuffled over.

Virgil let a few seconds pass before worming his way out, declaring, “Now that that’s over. I have important things to do alone in my room.”

Remus caught his arm before he could leave. “Let’s play a game.”

Experience had taught Virgil to get all the details before agreeing to play a game with Remus. “What _kind_ of game?”

“A board game?” Roman interjected.

“Card game,” Remus corrected him before smirking at Virgil. “Cards against humanity.”

Virgil glanced at Deceit, to see what he’d say. Deceit sighed and shrugged. “I _suppose_ I’ll play.”

“Fine,” Virgil turned back to Remus and agreed, “I’m in. But you’ll owe me a favor.”

“Half a favor.”

“Done.”

Logan leaned towards Deceit, asking quietly, “How many favors does he owe?”

“Virgil? Twelve and a half. He owes me twenty one and seven ninths.” Deceit looked thoughtful. “I think Roman owes him two.”

“You know you still owe me $10,” Remus reminded Virgil.

“Ugh, I was sure I was right. It was the perfect opportunity, and I was _sure_ Deceit was too dorky to pass it up.”

Deceit shot Virgil a warning look, promising to reveal some of _his_ dorkier moments if he didn’t shut up.

“…Can I play too?”

Remus turned to Roman, looking utterly surprised for half a second before his expression turned delighted. “Anything for you, _brother mine.” _He winked as he purred the endearment. “Your friends too.”

Roman hesitated, and before he could say anything, Patton shyly admitted, “I don’t know how to play.”

“It’s similar to apples to apples.”

Virgil balked at Logan’s explanation. He wasn’t wrong… per se, but… Patton… playing cards against humanity…

Patton grinned. “Oh? Is it?” He shrunk back from the intensity of Roman, Virgil, and Deceit all replying “No!” at the same time.

Remus threw himself at Virgil, nearly collapsing onto the floor in tears. “Can you imagine...” he snickered, unable to get out the rest of what he was saying around his hysterical giggles. “Can you…” _Can you imagine Patton playing cards against humanity?_

Logan cleared his throat and faintly suggested, “Perhaps Monopoly?”

Deceit and Virgil shared a knowing look. “Well,” Virgil murmured, “That’s one way to end this truce.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [7] Spiderverse is, of course, a reference to the movie Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and the way the portals affected the characters.
> 
> [8] "Glitch" is a reference to Vanellope Von Schweetz in the Wreck It Ralph movies. Long story short, if you haven't seen the first movie, she was sort of a glitch in the coding of her game. She could flicker in and out of existence.
> 
> [9] “Ngk” is a reference to me, having read far too many Good Omens fics. (Everyone writes Crowley + "ngk")
> 
> [10] “I’m bad” is a very vague reference to Aziraphale's "I'm soft" line from Good Omens. Less of a reference here and more of like,,, me imagining the same expression and tone of voice going on.
> 
> [11] Stealing everyone's left shoes is what Jumba from Lilo and Stitch claims is one of Stitch's chaotic behaviors.
> 
> ***  
I'm currently writing a longer fic that is kinda(?) similar to this so in the end, I decided to tweak the ending of this and then leave it alone otherwise I'm worried I'll end up accidentally writing the two into more or less the same thing. Hope y'all liked this! I think I like this better than what I originally had (not that I changed much but I feel like we've got more resolution now lol)  
If you have any prompts/requests please feel free to send them my way [@doctor-gloom](https://doctor-gloom.tumblr.com) on tumblr! :D


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